What?

According to a recent study, two-thirds of all people in this country think they are smarter than the average American.   Don't think about that too long...

Post Thanksgiving Muses

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone- and I survived.  I may have actually learned some valuable lessons this year. Time will tell.  These are a few my first thoughts after Thankgiving 2011.

First.....Never, and I mean never get a steroid shot in your knee the day before Thanksgiving; the day when its legal to eat yourself into a stupor. Steroids can make your blood sugar much higher than normal even if you're not diabetic and when you combine that with insane volumes of high carb, delicious, yet traditional dishes of your favorite Thanksgiving goodies you're setting yourself up for one miserable weekend. So unless you enjoy having your head feeling like its going to explode and looking like a ripe tomato, Don't Do It!

Second.....Consider upgrading your water heater, or even adding an additional one, before your children return home for the holidays with their spouses and their dirty laundry.  I never realized there are so many varying degrees of tepid when considering the perfect temperature to jump into the shower.  Once you realized the water is never going to reach your preferred temperature, how long do you let it run hoping that it will warm up a little more while you, in fact, are letting what minscule amount of tepid water you have left run right down the drain without giving you the tiny bit of warmth it has to offer.  This is a very complex question; one to which there is no satisfactory answer. Basically whatever you do, it ain't gonna be pleasant.  So you just jump in and set a world record for the fastest shower.

Third.....When taking a large group out to dinner to celebrate all the birthdays that have passed while not at home, or which will pass in the future while not at home, or birthdays of those yet unborn, do not go to the newest and busiest restaurant where the staff has the least experience.  And when you order your steak medium its not unreasonable to expect medium.  A steak burned beyond recognition, unidentifiable because there's nothing left but carbon, is not medium.  And when its replacement is brought to you and it is so rare that it should be "R" rated for gore; that's not medium either. I guess we should just be thankful that we got out of there without injesting e.coli or anything else.  I was a little disappointed though. I ordered catfish.

Now everyone has left and returned to their cozy apartments and/or houses. Order has been restored and our house is not in a state of constant entropy. Oh yea, and this morning's hot shower was great. Of course, I mean that in the nicest way...

Already?...

It seems like everybody just left and now they're all coming back again for Thanksgiving.  Where has the time gone?  I was just getting used to being able to go in my music room and play my guitar whenever I wanted and now there'll be somebody living in there.  We've got rooms figured out for everybody and only Cameron is sleeping on the floor (sorry Cameron), but we still only have 3 bathrooms.  Think about it... a house full of people, we all stuff our faces until we can't walk... what do you think is gonna happen 4-6 hours later?  I think we need some additional port-o-potties outside in the yard.  I think the neighbors would understand.  They've seen stranger things going on at our house.  How may times have you seen people jumping off your neighbors house with a cardboard wing, or doing donuts in the cul-de-sac with my truck (that was me), or trying to get airborne during a windstorm with a tarp.  You see? It's been worse.  Port-o-potties would be no big deal as long as the wind is coming from the north.   Just a thought...

It could be worse...

The past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful for me at work and today is no exception because we're one person short. That's different that one short person Ashley.  So to remind myself that I don't have it so bad, I've tried to think of a few stressful job situations that would be worse than mine.

• Being colorblind and working on the bomb squad
• An ER trauma doc who faints at the sight of blood
• A motivational speaker with a lisp
• An urban window washer who's afraid of heights
• A hypoglycemic Indy driver
• A long haul trucker with a bladder problem
• A hostage negotiator with anger management issues
• A farmer with an allergy to hay
• Coordinating a flash mob when you have a phobia of crowded places
• A germaphobe working in the landfill
• A white water river guide who can't swim

So remember, there's always somebody who has it worse.

Umm, all that stuff I said yesterday, uh, just forget get it. I rode the bike to work today and it was 27 degrees. Thank you for your time.