Reflections

As I sit here beside myself I occassionally catch myself gazing into the mirror reflecting about stuff like this:

• If most kid's habits are similar to mine, why are toilets white?
• Why does the truly funny 10 year old humor always involve bodily functions?
• How do you know a person with no sense of humor is only joking?
• How come older and wiser don't always go together?
• Why do I gain 20 lbs. everytime I get a haircut?
• When a child poops in his pants, how do you know it was an "accident"?
• Where do Hawaiians go when they need a vacation?
• Why am I more facinated with history the older I get?
• Why do I feel like I have hair when I crank up my electric guitar?
• Why are "sit" and "stare" verbs? They're not actions words.
• Why is there a size 0?
• Why did the leaf springs on my truck break only on the driver's side?

I don't lose sleep over these things, but these questions do cause me considerable consternation.