What?

According to a recent study, two-thirds of all people in this country think they are smarter than the average American.   Don't think about that too long...

Post Thanksgiving Muses

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone- and I survived.  I may have actually learned some valuable lessons this year. Time will tell.  These are a few my first thoughts after Thankgiving 2011.

First.....Never, and I mean never get a steroid shot in your knee the day before Thanksgiving; the day when its legal to eat yourself into a stupor. Steroids can make your blood sugar much higher than normal even if you're not diabetic and when you combine that with insane volumes of high carb, delicious, yet traditional dishes of your favorite Thanksgiving goodies you're setting yourself up for one miserable weekend. So unless you enjoy having your head feeling like its going to explode and looking like a ripe tomato, Don't Do It!

Second.....Consider upgrading your water heater, or even adding an additional one, before your children return home for the holidays with their spouses and their dirty laundry.  I never realized there are so many varying degrees of tepid when considering the perfect temperature to jump into the shower.  Once you realized the water is never going to reach your preferred temperature, how long do you let it run hoping that it will warm up a little more while you, in fact, are letting what minscule amount of tepid water you have left run right down the drain without giving you the tiny bit of warmth it has to offer.  This is a very complex question; one to which there is no satisfactory answer. Basically whatever you do, it ain't gonna be pleasant.  So you just jump in and set a world record for the fastest shower.

Third.....When taking a large group out to dinner to celebrate all the birthdays that have passed while not at home, or which will pass in the future while not at home, or birthdays of those yet unborn, do not go to the newest and busiest restaurant where the staff has the least experience.  And when you order your steak medium its not unreasonable to expect medium.  A steak burned beyond recognition, unidentifiable because there's nothing left but carbon, is not medium.  And when its replacement is brought to you and it is so rare that it should be "R" rated for gore; that's not medium either. I guess we should just be thankful that we got out of there without injesting e.coli or anything else.  I was a little disappointed though. I ordered catfish.

Now everyone has left and returned to their cozy apartments and/or houses. Order has been restored and our house is not in a state of constant entropy. Oh yea, and this morning's hot shower was great. Of course, I mean that in the nicest way...

Already?...

It seems like everybody just left and now they're all coming back again for Thanksgiving.  Where has the time gone?  I was just getting used to being able to go in my music room and play my guitar whenever I wanted and now there'll be somebody living in there.  We've got rooms figured out for everybody and only Cameron is sleeping on the floor (sorry Cameron), but we still only have 3 bathrooms.  Think about it... a house full of people, we all stuff our faces until we can't walk... what do you think is gonna happen 4-6 hours later?  I think we need some additional port-o-potties outside in the yard.  I think the neighbors would understand.  They've seen stranger things going on at our house.  How may times have you seen people jumping off your neighbors house with a cardboard wing, or doing donuts in the cul-de-sac with my truck (that was me), or trying to get airborne during a windstorm with a tarp.  You see? It's been worse.  Port-o-potties would be no big deal as long as the wind is coming from the north.   Just a thought...

It could be worse...

The past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful for me at work and today is no exception because we're one person short. That's different that one short person Ashley.  So to remind myself that I don't have it so bad, I've tried to think of a few stressful job situations that would be worse than mine.

• Being colorblind and working on the bomb squad
• An ER trauma doc who faints at the sight of blood
• A motivational speaker with a lisp
• An urban window washer who's afraid of heights
• A hypoglycemic Indy driver
• A long haul trucker with a bladder problem
• A hostage negotiator with anger management issues
• A farmer with an allergy to hay
• Coordinating a flash mob when you have a phobia of crowded places
• A germaphobe working in the landfill
• A white water river guide who can't swim

So remember, there's always somebody who has it worse.

Umm, all that stuff I said yesterday, uh, just forget get it. I rode the bike to work today and it was 27 degrees. Thank you for your time.

I'm a wimp

Yes, I've reached a terrible milestone in my life. The sun is shining, it looks like its going to be a beautiful day in the 50s and I drove the truck to work because, and I quote what I said as I walked out the front door, "I don't feel like being cold."  I never thought I would reach this level of wimpiness.  Who would have thought that I would reach a point where I can't endure 10 minutes of coldness to get to work so that I can enjoy riding on a beautiful day later. 

I've been caught in so many rainstorms I can't remember them all. I was caught in an April blizzard in Utah once with snow blowing sideways so hard I couldn't see right in front of me. I've been hailed on. I've had poop fly out of the back of a cattle truck and hit me right in the faceshield. Just a few years ago I was riding to work when the air temperature was 16 degrees (at 70 mph that's -23).

What has happened to me?!  I've been looking around for a new vehicle of some type because my truck is slowly dying. I've always thought Jeeps were cool until I sat in a few of them and now I've ruled them out because the seats are not padded enough!  Can you believe that!!!  This is a reality I never thought I would have to face.

I still have no idea what I'm gonna get but for now I'm not gonna worry about it.  I'm just gonna go home from work tonight, wrap a blanket around me, sit in my rocking chair and drool while I hum to myself.

Blogger's Guilt

I realize it's been a long time since I've updated this blog thing, but honestly I have excuses. My first excuse is that I lost a good friend of mine; my next door neighbor. His sudden death has left me feeling sullen and a little down. I'm amazed at how quickly things can change and I feel so sorry for his wife. It's one of those things where I wish there was more I could do to help her but I don't know what it would be. He was a great guy and very patient with me; a perpetual klutz in everything I did with him it seemed. There are just some things that certain people should never do. It's a simple fact.  He tried to take me golfing once (and I'd never been) and I was so bad that it took hours and hours just to play nine holes. Every hole we had to stop and let people play through to avoid mass rioting.  I know I embarrassed the heck out of him but he never said a word. Strangely enough, he never invited me to go golfing with him ever again.

He got a Harley and we went on a couple of rides together. Nothing very far, just half day trips. But it was really fun.  Most recently he helped me paint my motorcycle.  He taught me how to do all the sanding and prep work and stood back and let me do it.  He had a lot more experience with anything to do with cars, or in this case bikes,  than me but he still let me do a lot of the work; and that's the best way to learn.  When it came time to actually apply the coats of the color he gave the paint gun to me on one of the smaller parts and after a few strokes back and forth with the gun he realized that it was gonna be a lot easier for him to actually paint the thing than to go back and fix it after I do it.  And I'm glad he did.  It turned out absolutely perfect.  There are a few very small areas that show we were amateurs who did a paint job in his garage, but only someone who knows what they're looking at would see them.  And I'll never change anything about it because every time I look at the little spots or areas I'll think of him. Every time I see a black Roush Mustang, or any Mustang, I'll think of him. 

I really miss him and I think about him all the time.

Below are a few pictures of our work.  Let me know what you think.